Find Out What It Means To Me

I am more than capable and willing to admit my shortcomings. At times, it will take me awhile to realize the full extent of a particular issue that needs handled, but I am very aware of the things I need to change or work on. This may be a character flaw in and of itself, but just the same, if someone wants to point something out to me, I don't really react well to having it pointed out in a public way. I find it disrespectful. You see, I'm all about respect, and accountability.

When I was little, I just couldn't understand why my parent's punishment for lying about doing something wrong, was much worse than the punishment I would receive for being truthful about my wrongdoing from the start. It didn't make sense to me when they told me I would not get into as much trouble if I just told the truth. However, I am a smart girl, and I eventually learned to just fess up from the start. I have figured out, as I have matured, that what my parents were trying to teach me was respect. To me, as an adult, respect is something I take very seriously.

I enjoy a challenge, unless the thing being challenged is my loyalty. In my opinion, if I am loyal to you, there should be no question.  If somebody has the audacity to say "prove to me you are my friend", I'm not likely to do so, nor am I likely to continue that friendship, no matter how old it is. I have enough respect for my friends to never question their allegiance, and I expect the same in return. There is a difference between fighting for something and manipulating it to suit your own personal needs.

We all make mistakes. Mistakes are okay, as long as you learn from them, instead of placing the blame for them on someone else, and then proceeding to repeat the same one over and over again. I am growing increasingly tired of being asked to feel sorry for people who are perfectly capable of changing the direction of their life. I understand as well as anybody how fickle good fortune can be, and I am more than willing to lend a sympathetic ear to someone truly in need of a shoulder to lean on. However, when you ask me to feel bad for you, when help has been offered to you...help you refused...I'm not likely to see it as much more than a desperate plea for attention. I have paid for the mistakes I have made, I have been held accountable for the things I have done wrong. I have paid my price. I can't help that it angers me when someone is able to float about, escaping all consequences, and not really caring about the feelings of those around them. 

Respect and accountability seem like such easy traits to possess. Unfortunately, I see very little of either these days. How can you have trust without mutual respect? How can you be honest with others, if you can't be honest with yourself?