If right now were five years ago, the reason for my lack of blog posts as of late would have been laziness. Today, however, the reason is quite the opposite. I am SWAMPED!!!! I am writing two books, working on an anthology of this blog, and I even recently wrote a couple articles for the amazing Jessica at little Indiana. I also have a day job, friends and family in my life, and a home (including 2 pets) to tend. It's been a big year and I have you all to thank. The overwhelming encouragement and kind words from my readers is a large contributor to the fact that I've gained the confidence to take my writing elsewhere. I'm the happiest girl in the world right now and it's all thanks to you!
I thought an amusing way to tell you all how much I appreciate everything you've done for me would be to tell you a few things about me that remain largely unknown. Sure, you are aware I dip my oreos in water, have an actual fear of milk and a propensity toward eating chocolate frosting right out of the can with a spoon while watching bad rom-coms. So why not bring to light a few deep dark things I've always kept just to myself?
I have a "more is more" mentality. When the back of the shampoo, conditioner, mousse or gel container says "dime-sized dallop", I fill my palm with the stuff. It never says how many dimes, after all. Same goes for dish soap, and fabric softener. I fill the little ball up halfway, not to the line. Dish soap gets a healthy drizzle around the entirety of the sink. If the recommended amount works, double or triple the recommended amount has to work better. Nothing anybody says can convince me otherwise. I've made it this far thinking this way, and I'm not likely to change my direction anytime soon. I also subscribe to the notion that nothing can ever have too much cheese or too much chocolate. Scented candles burn in every room. I do not remove one accessory before leaving the house, as classicly recommended by Coco Chanel. The more sparkly things on my ears and around my neck to distract from my disgusting body, the better.
I know I never want to get married, and if I do I'll elope, but that hasn't stopped me from planning my wedding thousands of times. I can spend hours on BHLDN picking out my dress, accessories, shoes, bridesmaids dresses, decor and everything else. Just in case, my sisters know where to find my engagement ring if there actually does happen to be a lucky fella out there (Hint: it's not a diamond). I also have the names of the children I don't intend to have picked out, just in case. Clearly I'm proof that no matter how much a girl is unlike a girl...she's still a girl.
I have bad days, everybody does. However on even the most hopeless and frustrating of them all, I cannot fall asleep at night without thanking God for everything I have. I started doing this during Lent back when I was in Jr. High, and I never quit. I also intend to do it every single night until I no longer can. I do not participate in religious discussions very often. I was raised with the understanding that my faith is personal to me, and if I choose I can keep it to myself. I am content in my relationship with God, and this is the only time you're likely to witness me discussing it publicly. This little ritual, however, is a very important ingredient in the big old bowl of Lindsey. It's like that pinch of salt in a batch of chocolate chip cookies. The small, unlikely thing that ends up making all the difference.
I'll now take this opportunity to apologize for the fact that these revelations aren't exactly earth-shattering. I think I opened a vein for you people over a year ago and you more-or-less know everything there is to know already. Basically, you know enough to know that I'm not that exciting. I don't really have any secrets. What you see is what you get, and I'm grateful that seems to be enough for the lot of you. I'm confident-yet-insecure. I have days during which I feel insignificant and invisible. On others, I feel as though I'm under a microscope. On the days I'm most unhappy, I find myself almost breathless at how happy I am deep deep down. I am always looking for ways to improve and evolve while still remaining Lindsey at my very core.
So, from all of us here at "Stuff" (which is just me) I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. I hope you can all find something this season that doesn't come from a store that makes you happier than you ever thought you could be.