Well, 2012 didn't show us the end of the world, but if you'll recall, last year I resolved to take my writing to the next level.
Mission accomplished.
In a year full of so many highs and lows I have to say my book rides right at the top of everything. I have been talking about writing a book since I was in elementary school. I didn't exactly plan it. I have started hundreds over the years. The difference with "Wiener Brain" is that it was the right one; I kept coming back to add more. It didn't take long for me to figure out that it was "the one."
Of course, that shouldn't diminish the other great things that happened this year. I became an auntie once again when my niece Ruby was born. She lives entirely too far away, but it just makes the times I get to see her that much more precious. My dear friend returned from Afghanistan, safe and sound. My nephew turned 1, and has proceeded to amaze me with everything he does. I think the bond I share with all my closest friends strengthened this year, as well. Not only did I gain a niece, but also a brother, Justin.
A trip to Virginia, Wisconsin, a cabin in the woods, and a Springsteen show put 2012 down in the books as one of my most traveled years.
With the ups must come the downs. You can't have one without the other...otherwise how would you know you're happy? This year I saw two friends dealing with great loss. One lost a great man, and one lost a terrible man. Loss is loss, however; the jolt is the same whether it be a revered grandfather, or a philandering husband. You still have to adjust to their absence. You still have to learn a new way of living.
I was very saddened to learn of the passing of my dear friend's grandfather. I knew him myself and he was the kind of person you love immediately upon meeting. I know she and her entire family have struggled tremendously since losing him and if I could take away their pain, I would do it in a heartbeat. After he passed, my mom made a comment about men named "George" being the best dads and grandpas. I couldn't agree with her more.
On the other hand, and in regards to another friend, I was happy to see the philandering husband exit the picture. I'm more than happy to support her as she adjusts; and she is more like herself than she has been since she married the jerk. I think she's grateful he's gone, too. I would imagine it's difficult to be so driven toward accomplishing your goals when you have such a worthless loser bringing you down all the time.
I believe, for my friends, that 2013 is going to be their year.
I look forward to seeing what '13 has to bring for me. While I didn't exactly achieve all my goals for 2012, I think I made great progress toward them. I think my main goal for next year would be to remember to stop and look around once in awhile. I feel as though the past 12 months flew by in a blur. I have to allow myself to breathe and focus on what is most important. Also, my writing; I hope to do much more of it. I hope to improve and expand my reach. Last year I wrote a book...who knows what I'll do this year.
Happy New Year to all my readers. Be safe but be sure to also have fun!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Duckie
A couple weeks ago, I had a bad day. It began unpleasantly and I just knew I was in for it. I guess it all started when I couldn't find the jeans I planned to wear. I was yelling profanities at the top shelf of my closet. I was convinced it was hiding them in order to make me late for work. I envisioned Father Time standing outside my bedroom window cackling at my misfortune. The vibes I was giving off caused my dog and cat to vacate the room. I found the jeans. They were neatly folded on top of my dresser; right where I left them the night before.
Already my day was not looking promising.
Once I left the house, with three new bruises forming on various parts of my body, a watering eye from jabbing myself in the eye with my mascara wand, and a tingling in the general vicinity of my sciatic nerve; I just wanted to crawl back into bed.
I did manage to leave early enough to stop and drop something off to someone, though. If you know me at all, you know I hit snooze about seven times each morning. I rarely leave my house before the last possible minute which will enable me to arrive at work in time to clock in at exactly 8 o'clock on the dot. A morning person, I certainly am not. I began holding onto the slightest hope that at some point, my bad day would turn good.
Then I got to work, and it was all fine. I dropped all the papers I picked up at the time clock, but that's actually nothing different from any other day, I lack quite a bit of grace and poise, and I drop things and fall down a lot...it's just who I am. Once I sat down with a nice hot cup of coffee (that I managed to not spill on me or drink before it had cooled to a drinkable temperature, thus burning my tongue) I noticed that my new manicure had chipped at some point in the morning. While irksome, it wasn't anything to get upset about. It's not even comparable to a pair of misplaced jeans.
I made some irrational declaration around lunchtime that I needed to go to Burger King. You see, nobody NEEDS Burger King. Nobody. Especially me. So, feeling guilty, I decided to just run to the truck stop down the road and get a small snack and bottle of water. Plus, I needed to put gas in my car.
Of course, when I drove up to the pumps, I saw little red cards in all the card-reading slots. The next day the pumps were gone as they're doing some work down there. Either way, I couldn't get gas, and I needed gas. Fuming, I got back into my car and merged onto the interstate toward...you guessed it; Burger King. Once there, I paid ten cents more for gas than I would have at the New Lisbon Truck stop. I also got a chicken sandwich that made me regret not putting my Zantac in my purse that morning.
As I drove back to work, yelling at cars and shouting obscenities at the radio I found an overwhelming sense of foolishness coming over me. Just as quickly as it started, it melted away. With my face burning from embarrassment as I exited the interstate, I reminded myself that having to drive a few extra miles for gas isn't the end of the world...in fact, it's not even that much of an inconvenience. I reminded myself that even my worst days would be considered good days for some.
Once I returned to work, I felt almost serene. Sure, the rest of my workday was chaotic and I got stuck behind a slow-moving fuel truck on my way home; but I just turned up my radio and sang along with the music...and I enjoyed the ride.
Already my day was not looking promising.
Once I left the house, with three new bruises forming on various parts of my body, a watering eye from jabbing myself in the eye with my mascara wand, and a tingling in the general vicinity of my sciatic nerve; I just wanted to crawl back into bed.
I did manage to leave early enough to stop and drop something off to someone, though. If you know me at all, you know I hit snooze about seven times each morning. I rarely leave my house before the last possible minute which will enable me to arrive at work in time to clock in at exactly 8 o'clock on the dot. A morning person, I certainly am not. I began holding onto the slightest hope that at some point, my bad day would turn good.
Then I got to work, and it was all fine. I dropped all the papers I picked up at the time clock, but that's actually nothing different from any other day, I lack quite a bit of grace and poise, and I drop things and fall down a lot...it's just who I am. Once I sat down with a nice hot cup of coffee (that I managed to not spill on me or drink before it had cooled to a drinkable temperature, thus burning my tongue) I noticed that my new manicure had chipped at some point in the morning. While irksome, it wasn't anything to get upset about. It's not even comparable to a pair of misplaced jeans.
I made some irrational declaration around lunchtime that I needed to go to Burger King. You see, nobody NEEDS Burger King. Nobody. Especially me. So, feeling guilty, I decided to just run to the truck stop down the road and get a small snack and bottle of water. Plus, I needed to put gas in my car.
Of course, when I drove up to the pumps, I saw little red cards in all the card-reading slots. The next day the pumps were gone as they're doing some work down there. Either way, I couldn't get gas, and I needed gas. Fuming, I got back into my car and merged onto the interstate toward...you guessed it; Burger King. Once there, I paid ten cents more for gas than I would have at the New Lisbon Truck stop. I also got a chicken sandwich that made me regret not putting my Zantac in my purse that morning.
As I drove back to work, yelling at cars and shouting obscenities at the radio I found an overwhelming sense of foolishness coming over me. Just as quickly as it started, it melted away. With my face burning from embarrassment as I exited the interstate, I reminded myself that having to drive a few extra miles for gas isn't the end of the world...in fact, it's not even that much of an inconvenience. I reminded myself that even my worst days would be considered good days for some.
Once I returned to work, I felt almost serene. Sure, the rest of my workday was chaotic and I got stuck behind a slow-moving fuel truck on my way home; but I just turned up my radio and sang along with the music...and I enjoyed the ride.
"When you think things are bad,
When you feel sour and blue,
When you start to get mad...
You should do what I do...
Just tell yourself, Duckie,
You're really quite lucky!
Some people are much more...
Oh, ever so much more...
Oh, muchly much-much more
unlucky than you!"
~Dr. Seuss
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Exposed...Sort Of
If right now were five years ago, the reason for my lack of blog posts as of late would have been laziness. Today, however, the reason is quite the opposite. I am SWAMPED!!!! I am writing two books, working on an anthology of this blog, and I even recently wrote a couple articles for the amazing Jessica at little Indiana. I also have a day job, friends and family in my life, and a home (including 2 pets) to tend. It's been a big year and I have you all to thank. The overwhelming encouragement and kind words from my readers is a large contributor to the fact that I've gained the confidence to take my writing elsewhere. I'm the happiest girl in the world right now and it's all thanks to you!
I thought an amusing way to tell you all how much I appreciate everything you've done for me would be to tell you a few things about me that remain largely unknown. Sure, you are aware I dip my oreos in water, have an actual fear of milk and a propensity toward eating chocolate frosting right out of the can with a spoon while watching bad rom-coms. So why not bring to light a few deep dark things I've always kept just to myself?
I have a "more is more" mentality. When the back of the shampoo, conditioner, mousse or gel container says "dime-sized dallop", I fill my palm with the stuff. It never says how many dimes, after all. Same goes for dish soap, and fabric softener. I fill the little ball up halfway, not to the line. Dish soap gets a healthy drizzle around the entirety of the sink. If the recommended amount works, double or triple the recommended amount has to work better. Nothing anybody says can convince me otherwise. I've made it this far thinking this way, and I'm not likely to change my direction anytime soon. I also subscribe to the notion that nothing can ever have too much cheese or too much chocolate. Scented candles burn in every room. I do not remove one accessory before leaving the house, as classicly recommended by Coco Chanel. The more sparkly things on my ears and around my neck to distract from my disgusting body, the better.
I know I never want to get married, and if I do I'll elope, but that hasn't stopped me from planning my wedding thousands of times. I can spend hours on BHLDN picking out my dress, accessories, shoes, bridesmaids dresses, decor and everything else. Just in case, my sisters know where to find my engagement ring if there actually does happen to be a lucky fella out there (Hint: it's not a diamond). I also have the names of the children I don't intend to have picked out, just in case. Clearly I'm proof that no matter how much a girl is unlike a girl...she's still a girl.
I have bad days, everybody does. However on even the most hopeless and frustrating of them all, I cannot fall asleep at night without thanking God for everything I have. I started doing this during Lent back when I was in Jr. High, and I never quit. I also intend to do it every single night until I no longer can. I do not participate in religious discussions very often. I was raised with the understanding that my faith is personal to me, and if I choose I can keep it to myself. I am content in my relationship with God, and this is the only time you're likely to witness me discussing it publicly. This little ritual, however, is a very important ingredient in the big old bowl of Lindsey. It's like that pinch of salt in a batch of chocolate chip cookies. The small, unlikely thing that ends up making all the difference.
I'll now take this opportunity to apologize for the fact that these revelations aren't exactly earth-shattering. I think I opened a vein for you people over a year ago and you more-or-less know everything there is to know already. Basically, you know enough to know that I'm not that exciting. I don't really have any secrets. What you see is what you get, and I'm grateful that seems to be enough for the lot of you. I'm confident-yet-insecure. I have days during which I feel insignificant and invisible. On others, I feel as though I'm under a microscope. On the days I'm most unhappy, I find myself almost breathless at how happy I am deep deep down. I am always looking for ways to improve and evolve while still remaining Lindsey at my very core.
So, from all of us here at "Stuff" (which is just me) I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. I hope you can all find something this season that doesn't come from a store that makes you happier than you ever thought you could be.
I thought an amusing way to tell you all how much I appreciate everything you've done for me would be to tell you a few things about me that remain largely unknown. Sure, you are aware I dip my oreos in water, have an actual fear of milk and a propensity toward eating chocolate frosting right out of the can with a spoon while watching bad rom-coms. So why not bring to light a few deep dark things I've always kept just to myself?
I have a "more is more" mentality. When the back of the shampoo, conditioner, mousse or gel container says "dime-sized dallop", I fill my palm with the stuff. It never says how many dimes, after all. Same goes for dish soap, and fabric softener. I fill the little ball up halfway, not to the line. Dish soap gets a healthy drizzle around the entirety of the sink. If the recommended amount works, double or triple the recommended amount has to work better. Nothing anybody says can convince me otherwise. I've made it this far thinking this way, and I'm not likely to change my direction anytime soon. I also subscribe to the notion that nothing can ever have too much cheese or too much chocolate. Scented candles burn in every room. I do not remove one accessory before leaving the house, as classicly recommended by Coco Chanel. The more sparkly things on my ears and around my neck to distract from my disgusting body, the better.
I know I never want to get married, and if I do I'll elope, but that hasn't stopped me from planning my wedding thousands of times. I can spend hours on BHLDN picking out my dress, accessories, shoes, bridesmaids dresses, decor and everything else. Just in case, my sisters know where to find my engagement ring if there actually does happen to be a lucky fella out there (Hint: it's not a diamond). I also have the names of the children I don't intend to have picked out, just in case. Clearly I'm proof that no matter how much a girl is unlike a girl...she's still a girl.
I have bad days, everybody does. However on even the most hopeless and frustrating of them all, I cannot fall asleep at night without thanking God for everything I have. I started doing this during Lent back when I was in Jr. High, and I never quit. I also intend to do it every single night until I no longer can. I do not participate in religious discussions very often. I was raised with the understanding that my faith is personal to me, and if I choose I can keep it to myself. I am content in my relationship with God, and this is the only time you're likely to witness me discussing it publicly. This little ritual, however, is a very important ingredient in the big old bowl of Lindsey. It's like that pinch of salt in a batch of chocolate chip cookies. The small, unlikely thing that ends up making all the difference.
I'll now take this opportunity to apologize for the fact that these revelations aren't exactly earth-shattering. I think I opened a vein for you people over a year ago and you more-or-less know everything there is to know already. Basically, you know enough to know that I'm not that exciting. I don't really have any secrets. What you see is what you get, and I'm grateful that seems to be enough for the lot of you. I'm confident-yet-insecure. I have days during which I feel insignificant and invisible. On others, I feel as though I'm under a microscope. On the days I'm most unhappy, I find myself almost breathless at how happy I am deep deep down. I am always looking for ways to improve and evolve while still remaining Lindsey at my very core.
So, from all of us here at "Stuff" (which is just me) I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. I hope you can all find something this season that doesn't come from a store that makes you happier than you ever thought you could be.
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